Last night was Everclear night, so aside from still being a little drunk this morning, I’m also tired as hell. Good thing there is a new energy drink to try out this morning. At least I thought it was new. Straight from our good friends in Germany comes Tunnel energy drink, the most commonly normal Red Bull imitation ever. In fact, in a blind taste test conducted by me, on me, I could not tell the difference between the two at all. At least the can was entertaining, there are several phrases in engrish which make no sense to me at all. “Everybody is interested in you when you get drunken and sick, but nobody when you are thirsty.” What? One, what the hell does that have to do with this beverage other than the word thirsty which might be able to be satisfied by the contents of this can. Although I do give them props for the word drunken on the can, I do love being drunken. And two, I can’t remember the last time everybody was interested in me when I was drunken and sick, not to mention anyone. If you’re going to seriously market a Energy shots here, put our language on it, and don’t just throw darts at a dictionary. The good news about this Red Bull imitation is that if you have problems with caffeine, you can still drink this. This is because Tunnel is fueled exclusively by coffein and taurin, two ingredients we don’t have over here in the good ole U.S, and for you carb watchers, there are none. Absolutely no mention of carbohydrates, only some crap called Kohlenhydrates which again we don’t have in the U.S so it can’t be bad for you or go against any American diet you may be on. So in the end, this drink gets the exact same review from me as Red Bull, gets one hypothetical point higher for having the word drunken on the can, and big fat F- for the marketing geniuses who don’t think we like our own language. But I suppose you can’t blame them, Tunnel is mostly a purveyor of fine dance beats who get most of their business because there are pictures of naked people on their webpage.
Well…I’m not to sure what to say here. It tastes like Red Bull….it has the same effects as Red Bull…It’s in a little can like Red Bull. If I see it priced at under $1.99….I’ll take it over Red Bull. Seriously though, Tunnel is a pretty good drink over all. It’s got a very familiar taste in a much more entertaining package. I really wish I could say more, but I just can’t. I know the flavor…it’s a tested and proven one, and put side by side with the others like it I find it difficult if not impossible to tell them apart. I think the ratings pretty much tell you everything you need to know. Really, I’d like to see Tunnel priced at about $1.00-$1.50 per can. I think that at a lower price than the other stuff out there it would really be able to hold it’s own in this market.
Oh, and the cans we got are quite entertaining…I understand the rough translations and the untranslated stuff are all a part of getting an imported product onto the market. I say leave it. I enjoyed the read.